A rooster was once strutting up and down the farmyard among the hens when suddenly he spied something shining amid the straw.
"Ho! Ho!" quoth he, "that's for me," and soon rooted it out from beneath the straw. What did it turn out to be but a Pearl that by some chance had been lost in the yard! After close examination, he realized that it would be too much burden to carry the pearl along with him everywhere he went. He would be unable to eat or drink or even survive by having to lug it around with him. Besides, what could it do for him? So, knowing the worth of he Pearl, he dropped it, and walked along his way, not looking back.
"You may be a treasure, to men that prize you, but for me I would rather have a single barley- corn than a peck of pearls."
Precious things are for those that can prize them.
Breaking up is hard. There's nothing easy about it no matter which end of the stick you're on. The whole situation always leaves you with tons of "What if's" and "I wonder's...". Even worse, is that someone (if not both sides) ends up terribly bitter and unapologetic for anything that happens going forward. I'll admittedly say that women are very good at this. We tend to hold the deepest grudges with the meanest spirits and the worst hate.
The way the relationship as a whole is handled is so different between men and women. Men are sexual beings that focus so strongly on just that while women are more emotional. We like to hold hands, cuddle, kiss and coo as a means to show how much in love we are. While (most) men show their love by the extreme things they do in the bedroom and how loud they can make us scream. (Some ladies like that shit though, so I'll leave that part alone) But lets say one of the parties goes outside of the relationship. Men (mind you, I'm speaking generally) wont mention it! They will wait until they're caught, and even then make an attempt to deny it. But whats the first thing we ask him? "You love this bitch? You take her out? Was she in my car?" We focus on the thought of him bringing her into his life. If he's just fucking her, then there's no reason he should spend a dime on her, or have any type of emotions for her. As long as he aint lovin her, we'll take him back more likely than not. Men or the other hand... they want to know about the sex. "Did you suck him off? He hit it from behind? Where yall do it at?" Mostly because they want to know what they're up against for one, but also because they WANT the mental picture believe it or not. Problem is, they can never get the picture out of their head, and thus the end of the relationship is sure to draw to an end quickly. (They definitely cant take what they dish out).
That was all off track... so let me get back... All in all--- We're different!
The breakup isn't much different either. We tend to get very emotional up front. We may even try to reconcile because the thought of change is usually too much to bear... but the man... he's ready to be single. Run wild. "Do him" (generally speaking again men...). They dont want to reconcile things as this is finally their time to "figure out" if this is what they really want. Translation: Let me get all this bullshit out my system, and then I'll come back to you when I'm ready and know that you'll be waiting, having had no other dates or sex with other men... you'll just be waiting for me til I'm done. Wait.. WHAT?? Not a chance. This is where it all breaks into pieces. I've seen it happen time and time again. The man expects her to be waiting... but she's not. She's moved on. And now... NOW... He's seeing that she just may be gone for good. NOW he wants to go all in. NOW he wants to change. NOW on his clock, he's ready... But she's gone... And NOW he's left with nothing more than a memory of what they had. This situation has been the topic of so many songs, so many poems, so many stories. And written by who? The hurt man. Who cant figure out how he's going to get her back.
It's sad really... Especially to watch one of your friends go through it. The positive however, is that I truly believe it wasn't a mistake that lands the man into the stituation. It takes alot of people (not just men) to lose something they've taken for granted for a long time before they see that this aint that. You are brought to this world to live your life the best to your ability and to learn lessons from every avenue. The lesson of losing someone you truly cherish can sometimes be harder on a person than death itself. You still have to see that person and know that somewhere, they're living their lives happy, and not with you. Again, it's no mistake that this hurts the way it does. He's teaching you a lesson, making you feel a type of hurt that you've never experienced before, so that in the future YOU will do what YOU have to do for others. I said in an earlier post, that many people focus on the wrong means of happiness. Your happiness should root from other peoples satisfaction and knowing that they are happy in their lives. When you focus solely on your own happiness and look for selfish ways to obtain it, do you really expect to ever obtain it? I guess it goes back to the old adage "Treat people the way you'd want to be treated".
I'm sure these types of things happen to women too... however, not as prevalent, and more likely, I'm sure things play out a tad bit differently. But either way, hurt it hurt.
But I say this. That treasure wasn't truly the treasure for you. Thats why it wasn't to your liking and you set out for other things. But it was presented to you so that you will know that it does exist. It may be a pain to part with, but He didn't mean for you to treasure this one to the full extent. Which is why you didn't, and thus she went away. When women are TRULY done, we're DONE. I believe the reason for this is so that when the man will be not be able to revert back to what he may be accustomed to and be able to set out to find his true treasure. (Dont get me wrong though, I also believe that at times, a couple is truly meant to be. When that is the case, I know that they will be, and it will happen with very little effort on either side) The rooster found this pearl, and as beautiful as it was, and however great it felt to him, he knew that it's just not what he wanted. That it just wasnt something he'd hold dear or treasure, it just didn't mean to him what it could mean to someone else as there was something more that he was looking for, and something more he'd be more happy with. So he left it to find his simple barley- corn, for the next one to come along and possibly treasure it as it should be. But when that rooster DOES find his corn... can you imagine how happy he'll be??? He'll treat that corn as if there was nothing better. He'll hold it close to him, and never even give second thoughts to that silly "other". He'll be able to take all that pain he experienced from getting rid of the pearl, and turn it into love for the corn, and then KNOW that it was worth the wait and the search.
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