Cleaning out my closet

Ok... So everyone who knows me, knows I'm always up for trying something new. Mainly as it pertains to my body. I wouldn't say I'm a health nut, but I do think that being healthy is very important & that your health directly affects your happiness.

I'm also not ashamed to admit that I'm overly insecure about my body, my weight, and my appearance. My insecurities run pretty deep, but let me try to explain;

I was what one may call a late bloomer. I was always the cute girl that knew all the answers. I had long silky curls that hung down my back, pretty skin, & a bubbly personality. Unfortunately, none of that matters to a bunch of 11 & 12 year olds just starting puberty. I had no curves, no butt, no boobs. I was teased & made fun of for it. Because my family had no money, I also wore torn hand me downs & only had one pair of shoes (white girls from pay less) that were to last me the entire year of school. So yeah, I was made fun of for it & boys paid me little attention. It wasn't until I turned 13 & had spent countless nights praying to the almighty Gods of estrogen, that I FINALLY hit puberty, and got boobs... And ass... And hips... And thighs... And more ass... And more boobs... And uh oh... What had I prayed for!?!?! Well, from then on out, I was highly admired so to speak for my thick body, cute face, great personality, and oh yeah, I was smart too. Fast forward to me having my first child... OH EM GEE!!!! The way my biddy changed was like none other. Stuff started sagging, and twisting & reshaping itself. Out of nowhere the memories of being teased as a child resurfaced, and now I'm overly insecure about the changes my body has made. I've tried everything, and at one point, even decided that bulimia would be the way to go. After getting din to a sickly 135, I knew I had to do something more healthy, if anything, for the sake of my daughter. So, now I workout, try to eat healthier, and focus on me... But the insecurity, it's still there.

Anywho... I've decided to detox. I'm reading up on an all natural one called the Marthas Vineyard Detox. (www.mvdietdetox.com) so far, I like what its talking about. It's focusing on just releasing the toxins out of your body. Focusing on a better YOU, not just losing weight.
The whole thing is 21 days. It seems like a lot. I don't think I'll aim for 21 though, just "tomorrow". That just works so much better for me.

I want to blog through the whole thing though. Which I think will be the fun part. So here we go... I'm cleaning out my closet!!