THE SWALLOW and the Crow had a contention about their plumage. The Crow put an end to the dispute by saying, "Your feathers are all very well in the spring, but mine protect me against the winter."
Fair weather friends are not worth much.
I wasn't going to blog about this... not sure why I wasn't but I felt that I just didn't want to bring it up. But then... I figured "It's my fuckin blog, and I can say whatever I damn well please" So that I shall!
Well I have this friend... (I hate people that start things off in that way... always seems so synthetic). Anywho, I have this friend whom I've known for years on top of years. She and I were once very close, but time and life pulled us apart a bit over the years. Shit happens. There was never any true harsh disparities between us or anything. We just weren't as close as we once were. We did speak on occasion, but I noticed more and more that things were just heading downward. There were small things I'd notice going on and some small comments being made.... and I saw that for some reason, it was beyond just us growing apart... there was something...
But this attitude wasn't very consistent... Indeed there were times when she'd be flaky, but then there were other times when I'd get the "Hey girl, whats up?" phone calls or text messages. She'd ask questions prying into the down sides of my life when we spoke and then brag on all of the GREAT things going on in hers. Unless... unless... Something else I noticed. She'd make comments about needing things. Throughout her pregnancy she made reference to the times when shed bought things for my daughter when she was a baby. Then she'd casually mention something she needed... well after the purchase of the crib was when I noticed she was even doing it... The thought of it all blew me... to pieces. Like... hurt my feelings.
I'm a great friend to the few with the title. There's nothing I wont do for someone in my circle. Hands down. NOTHING. Quote me on that and hold me to it. I sincerely believe the quote "Friends are Gods way of apologizing for family". I believe to go through life without a handful of REAL friends is to go through life alone. Regardless of what you have. At one point she and I were the closest of the close. So to come to the realization that she just isn't a true friend... it hurt. BAD. Well nonetheless, I never erased her from my life. She's still around, and she's still doing what she does best. Being flaky. At this point, I have no idea why I even bother to tolerate her. I believe I know what much of it stems from, but I don't like to think that way... so I wont call it out. But knowing my BFF she will...
I guess it just makes you look at things from so many different angles. What are peoples objectives from holding a place in your life? Are they wasting the space that they're filling up? While I know philosophically speaking, people do things for self gratification. But, there are different levels of it all. When I do things for my friends or others, there is definitely something personal and selfish attached. My own thoughts are always turned to "If I was in this situation, how would I want me to respond?" and from that, I make my decision on how I will react. It makes me feel good to know that I'm a good person to someone else. To know that I'm the best friend to ALL of my friends, makes me feel good. That's a bit selfish, but it's not in a selfish manner if you will. Some people do things for their own personal needs. "I'll do this for her, so that she'll remember it, and do something even greater for me..." Of course that's not a good intention. But I do know that its the reason for some peoples actions.
I cant control others, so I don't even make the attempt to. Not going to take years off my life for something that MAY or MAY NOT be successful when I can focus my attention to something I KNOW will be more than worth it. But, so be it. Who am I to judge others?
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