Pot or Kettle?

A FROG once upon a time came forth from his home in the marsh and proclaimed to all the beasts that he was a learned physician, skilled in the use of drugs and able to heal all diseases. A Fox asked him, "How can you pretend to prescribe for others, when you are unable to heal your own lame gait and wrinkled skin?'

I was listening to the radio this morning and the topic was that of a woman who felt unappreciated by her man. She said she cooks for him, cleans for him, does all other "womanly" duties, but he barely gives her the affection she feels she deserves. Call after call were different women giving their two cents on the situation. Sadly, most of these women ended their rants with "And THAT'S why I'm not dealing with a man now!"

Wait, what??? You're giving advice to someone WITH a man, and you're WITHOUT one?

How often does this happen? Why do women feel the need to constantly bash on other women in relationships? Like whats the point? "Your man aint rub BOTH your feet at the same time? Girl he's a DAWG!!!" Really??? For real???

This blows me for a plethora of reasons, which are nothing more than obvious. So I decided to offer up my take on things for women stuck in these predicaments with their men.

First, YES I've been there. YES, there were times when I couldn't figure out how in the hell I was EVER going to get a man, MY man to be EVERYTHING that I both wanted AND needed. I hit a hard wall at some point, and left myself doing the only thing I knew that was left. I prayed on it.

My best friend introduced me to the Power of Prayer books by Stormie Omartian. This woman is AMAZING in her writings, and everything that she says makes so much sense.

**Let me say quickly, that I'm one of of the most nonreligious believers ever. I find myself to be spiritual rather than call it religious. I like to read, research and understand all things that I'm told before just "going with it", and Christianity is not any different. I'll save that for another blog post however.**

Stormie explains many facets of trying to get a man to be just who you think he should be. The truth is, it's impossible to do without first looking at yourself. When we deflect our issues off on the man, all we're doing is pushing him away. Instead, we should look at what WE can do to make it so that WE are all that he wants us to be. That's tough on us though. I remember trying to think of all the great ways I could be EVEN better than I had been... and with no success. That's because just trying to change myself, and focusing on me wasn't enough. You also must pray for your man. You cant shoot up one of those ridiculous prayers though. "Hey God, I REALLLLY want him to propose" or "Hey God, it sure would be GREAT if he bought me this Louis bag I want..." Nope, that's not going to work. Try this one "Dear God, I'm working on me right now, but it would be great, if we can also work on him. I pray that he finds clarity with things, and that he one day sees how great of a woman I really am." And that's it. And that works.

When you pray for the  best to come of your relationship, then you're welcoming the powers of God into it. You're entrusting Him with something that you hold sacred to yourself. But, by doing this, you cant just expect to think that you can just pray for him then something magical will happen the next day. No. You have to pray and honestly believe that things will change for the better. No matter what that outcome will be. I strongly believe that when you pray for something, you should make sure to let God know that whatever decision it is that He makes, YOU understand that it is the right one. That you will trust in Him, and know that He doesn't make mistakes. It was no accident. And that even if you disagree with His decision, in the end, it will all work out in your favor. He doesn't want you to fall, and He doesn't test you.

Yes, I've gone through alot of hell in my past relationship, and admittedly in this one as well. There were times when I sincerely thought I'd be single forever. That there was no way, I'd ever find a man that would love me how I wanted to be loved. But He showed me that it may not be the way I want it to be all the time, but it's the way that I NEED it to be. And it's the way that He wants it to be.

So, to that lady who didn't think she was being shown enough affection, shift your mind off the negative, and see if you can move your focus on the positive. What IS he doing that's so great to keep you? What was it that brought you there in the first place? Is he still doing it? Have you had a talk (not a fight/ argument) about it all? Are you expressing your feelings in a normal way that doesn't make you seem whiny or nagging? Are YOU being the BEST woman you can be? I think I'm qualified to speak on this stuff. I have normal things going on in my relationship of course, but not the stuff that she's talking about. No pots or kettles over here.

Lastly, let your single friends be single. Don't ask them for advice. Single ladies need stop getting advice when they're not going to take heed to it anyway. All men are NOT dogs. Actually, it's probably ALL MEN YOU MESS WITH that are dogs. And if that IS the case, then once again, maybe you should re-evaluate yourself.