Beautiful

I have to get better at this... I tend to log onto here when I'm having a shitty day. When I feel like I'm at my wits end with things, I blog, and I release my frustrations to the world of cyber space. So anyone who happens to trip up on my page, can see my inner most thoughts. It provides a release for me, as I've said many times before, and that's a good... GREAT thing. I need it. Lately, I've been down. Losing my mom and grandmother provided an insight into life that I'd never really grasped fully. That Death is real. And it's a part of life. I'll explore that journey and my thoughts of it later.. but now... today...

I'm HAPPY. I woke up pissed that my husband was blasting the radio in one bathroom, and my kids were blasting another station in the other bathroom. Both too loud for me to tell them to turn it down, but then I thought... we have 4 bathrooms in our home when most people only have one. I thought of how frustrated I get that I have to roll out of bed at 6am to get my 3 (very healthy and beautiful) children out of bed and off to school so I can go to work. How I get so angry that I have to drive them all the way to the babysitter, then to school, then head to my job downtown... But then I thought. My kids are great. Beautiful. Smart. They get in trouble for B's, and God forbid a C. But some children don't get that attention from their parents, and they roll the streets all times of the night. I have to DRIVE them. I own my own car, their schools are in one of Chicago's best neighborhoods. They go to great schools. One is learning Latin, while the other French. I have an EXCELLENT babysitter who doesn't charge me an arm and a leg to watch my son.... I have a job in downtown Chicago. I work for a PROMINENT WELL KNOWN COMPANY. I have my own office, and I get paid very well. I have a terrific husband that drives me up a wall... but he's still great. He doesn't beat me, cheat on me, or try to knock me down. He encourages all that I am, and will run the world for me.
I have great friends that are successful in their respective careers, and that are supportive of me and all that I do. I'm excited about all of this. (And the fact that they're coming to hang out with me on Sunday :-) Cant wait to see yall!!!!!!!)

I forget this stuff sometimes I know. Death hurts, but it's not the end of MY life and MY happiness. It's actually the BEGINNING of eternity for Mom and Mymomma... I'm grateful that they'll be together again. I don't know how Mom was able to go a full 18 months without her mother to chat with everyday... I miss them... So much... but it ok. It's ok for me to miss them, and be sad sometimes. But today, I'm not. I'm ok. I'm happy.